I waited for this girl my entire life. I always dreamed of having a daughter, and I got her. Tonight when Scott got home from work I had to run to the store for salad dressing for dinner. I always hate leaving the house, because it's usually a screaming fest, everyone wants to know where Mommy is going, blah, blah, blah. Anyhow.....as I'm trying to sneak out, they see me. Ava runs to me, I tell them I'm going to the store, I'll be right back. Ava replies " I wanna go to the store with you Mommy". Scott's yelling, "Just go so you can get back." (More or less, hurry up.) I feel torn, because I'm thinking the boys will put up a fuss, is it really worth the quick trip, oh, but she really wants to go, oh nevermind I'll just go by myself. I turn and look at her face.....then I quick walk over and scoop her into my arms and say "Let's go baby girl." (all the while thinking the boys will get over it.) She is thrilled, so excited, and so am I because I NEVER get one on one time with her, NEVER. It's sad, it's really sad. We get to the grocery store and she is grinning ear to ear. I put her in the shopping cart and she is just staring at me, smiling. My heart is melting at that moment and I can't believe how much I love this girl. How much I am missing by not having this alone time.
I tell you this short story because for so long I have been saddened by the fact that I don't have the opportunity to spend one on one time with my kids right now. At the age that they are, it's nearly impossible to sit with one and do something, without the other two wanting to be involved. They fight for my attention, hitting, biting, yelling. I do my best to give to each, but some days I just want to run away, I feel as though the life is being sucked out of me, and I just can't give anymore. It's upsetting because, some days I feel like I'm not enjoying them the way I should be. With this all being said, I realized today that it is so important for them to have my undivided attention, for them to feel like they are the only one, and for me to put all of my focus on just one. I so enjoyed my short trip w/ Ava. So today I promise to do whatever I can to give that to each of them. We will have Mommy & Me days (even if it is only a few hours) they will take turns and I will have to ask someone to babysit the other two. I will throw away the guilt and ask.
So when I hear a mother of a singleton complaining about their one child or how hard it is......I would like to trade shoes w/ them for just one day so they can see just how good they really have it.
Some people will never get it.
3 comments:
Oh, I SO get this!! Even though I only have two, with Jason away so much I rarely get the kids one on one. The other day I told him I might take Tiernan on a playdate with me while he has "guy time". I LOVE going to the store with just one of them, they are so happy and just love it. So cute!! You are not being a "downer" at all Jessica, you are merely being REAL and I think sometimes other moms need to see that!!
I know exactly what you are talking about. It's painful how little one on one time we get. I keep telling my hubby I want another baby when these four are in school...so for the hours they are at school...I can experince all that I've missed....one child getting all my attention!! :) He's still not willing..but I'm still working at it!! :) One things that we started almost a year ago was a *special day* chart. Each of the Triplets have two days a week and right now little it only gets one. It has solved alot of issues in our house, like who gets to go first, who picks out the vegetable for dinner, etc. But I've also started using in when I need to run a quick errand...whoevers special day it is gets to go with me....most of the time they accept that and there is no more screaming!! Love reading about your kiddos!! ~Jen
Oh sweetie I totally feel your pain!! My trio is too young to really know the difference yet, but my 4 year old (almost 5...geesh where has the time gone..) certainly does. And I feel so guilty about it. Seriously all the time. And I know in a year or so I'm going to feel the same exact way with the triplets. Even now with the trio, I miss that one-on-one time like I had with Kadence when she was their age.
It's tough. It really really is. But I think it's a GREAT idea to take them out one at a time, even if it is only for a couple of hours. I try to do the same, especially with Kadence.
Hugs!!
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